The protagonist stands mournfully in front of the grave of
her mother. She has a small handful of wild-flowers bound tight by string.
She places them respectfully and sorrowfully next to the grave. A slow breeze
tugs at her skirt. She is dressed in a traditional plain 19th
century dress with a neck choker necklace and a small ornate hat. In her hand
is clutched a piece of torn paper, and a small photograph of her mother. The
sound of church doors being heaved open is heard before the protagonist make
her way between the pews. The church is silent, save for the sound her
footsteps, which echo ominously throughout the building. There is a dusty
atmosphere and the light catches the dust in the air and creates streams of light
from the windows. She finally sits one pew from the front, on the right, next
to the aisle; her head bowed looking at the handful of paper. She fiddles with
the paper, looking at the photograph then at the note. The writing on the note
is written both vertically and horizontally across the paper.
There is a slight
gust of wind through the church. On the altar at the front one of the candle
sticks topples over with a clang and rolls of the table onto the floor. The
protagonist jumps and looks down at it. It rolls across the hard stone floor
towards her and bumps into her foot. She reaches down and picks it up then gets
up and places it back at the front of the church. She then returns to her pew
and continues to read the note. Without her noticing, the doors at the back of
the church silently swing shut. A short time later, while still seated at the
pew, a strand of the protagonist’s hair is slowly lifted backwards. This is
followed by more strands one by one until she finally notices. She moves her
head very slightly when she senses the movement and whispers words of apology
in fear. She turns her head a little further then suddenly it is forced down
onto the pew in front with a smash. She screams and her head is dragged
backwards again by her hair, revealing the trail of blood appearing from her
hairline. She is dragged off the pew and onto the floor. She tries to scramble
forwards when the pulling on her hair is released but then her legs are
gripped. She is pulled up the aisle to the door by her legs, screaming and
grabbing for a hold. She is released before reaching the door and gets up and stumbles back into the church, staring at the door in fear and panic. She runs for the door and tries to open it but it is locked. From the outside of the church her slamming against the door and struggling against the invisible force can be heard. Then the door stops rattling and there is silence. The outcome of the encounter is unknown.
Excellent treatment - very effective writing. Have you thought about where and when titles might appear? What might happen next in your film?